(when i can’t fall in love )
written by:- Cristiana crisella
 Clay entered the class and was shocked
she saw Toby, his friends and other class
members all waiting for her.
”Clay, please accept my proposal, be my
girlfriend, make me the happiest person”,
confesses all that he felt for her.
Clay was short of words, a wave of
overcame her. With tears threatening to
her eyes, Clay’s mind walked down the
TWO YEARS EARLIER
Clay and Ciara were the best of twins. Identical
twins which people could hardly recognize, their
grandma could only recognize them by their hair,
Clay was having a longer hair than Ciara.
were quite tall, beauty with brains and
to to be great in life.
Clay has always wanted to be a drawing
she was perfect in that and could draw a
picture of you and paint it so well, while
the other hand had always wanted to be
designer, her love for fashion was that
she was aspiring to work in one of the best
boutiques ever in manila. They only lived
their poor grandma named Willa. They were
abandon by their parents ever since they
born but their grandma has always find it
to tell them about that.
”perfect painting”, said Clay smiling as she
concluded her drawing.
”wow! Ciara exclaimed looking at her
design, she was able to draw their exact
”you’re such an exceptional artist, good in
work, pencil work, you’re just perfect”, Ciara
”can’t deny the fact that am the most
grandma to have you”, their Grandma smiled
she brought out the food she bought from
near restaurant. ”Grandma, you’re always the best”, Clay
quickly packed her drawing stuff and join Ciara and her
grandma at the dining table to eat.
”grandma, you’ve been trying a lot to see us so
happy like this but you know things are getting
out of hands, we need to go back to school if
only our parents were here with us”, said
munching on her food.
”it a sad story, your mom and dad once had
little misunderstanding, your mom was a hot
tempered person, she was always quick to
just like you Clay”.
”yes, Clay is such a talkative, hot tempered
person and quick to anger maybe she got
from our mom”, said Ciara as she sip her
”hey! don’t give such comment about me you
know”, said Clay frowning her face already
”okay then, so when your mom gave birth to
she left the both of you in the care of your
father, she never return and i never see my
daughter until this day, your dad also left
my care when you were just three years, he
leftand never return”, their grandma
”this so unfair of them, what type of parent
they, so irresponsible, nonchalant, this
wickedness and … said Clay with so much
hatred for them.
”Clay calm down okay, at least we have
by our side”, said Ciara.
They were just fourteen years of age, Ciara
always gentle and calm, right from her
it was her nature to avoid the crowd and to
attach herself to only few person while Clay
just as her mom, so quick to anger and hot
tempered person, she was always impatient
talks too much.
It was late in the evening Clay was in her
going through some of her drawings, she
exhausted because she has a hectic day at
school and she complained of headache.
”you need some drugs, i will go and buy it at
nearest chemist down the street”, Ciara
”no Ciara you can buy that tomorrow i can
manage the headache till tomorrow.
”no Clay we don’t managed sickness, i will
and get you the medicine, don’t worry cos i
be right back”, Ciara insisted as she left to
her the medicine at the nearest chemist.
After some time Clay and her grandma were
scared and so worried because Ciara was
yet back home, they called some of her
whom the know she might be with but non
them has a clue of where she has gone.
had a sleepless night and the following day,
in the morning they went in search of her.
At last they were called at the police
Ciara was raped by six street boys and
from that her her two eyes were plucked
yesterday night, but unfortunately we’ve not
caught them”, the Deputy police officer
but assured them they will go on with the
”no Ciara can’t be death, where’s my sister
tell”, Clay broke down in tears, as she was
to another room where she saw Caira lying
with blood stains on her body and her eyes
plucked. She quickly ran and fall on her
”Ciara wake up it me, it me Clay your twin
you can’t leave me, it all my fault why did i
allow you to out yesterday, who will always
advised me again, who would plait my hair,
would always be their for me again, who
talk to, who would i share my deepest
with,”, Clay cried in great agony. Their
couldn’t believe it was her Ciara in that
condition. Why will something so wicked
happen to good people, Ciara was a nice girl
big dreams why will someone have to
and destroy her life in such a wicked way
this”, Her grandma was lost in thought and
stream from her eyes.
”who would have done this to my sister,
could they be so wicked”, Clay was
and ever since then she has so much hatred
any guy, she believe all men are the same,
heartless and wicked she believe they are
wicked and hated any guy that come her
her hatred for any guy became so much.
death of her twin sister has really left her
scars that may never go, a part of her was
when she saw Ciara lying death, she grieved
a very long time, the human being in her
overshadowed and over powered that very
spirit of hers, she was broken and reflected
true weaker vessel she is a woman. This in
life, she was knocked out by fate. As Ciara
casket hit the ground something inside her
Back to reality
Clay was still lost in thought as she
those rusty, painful memories. Toby was a
guy”, she thought. But she finds it too
”eh..em Toby, please just learn to forget
me,because Clay will never learn to love any
guy”, she said with tears as she quickly ran
of the class while Irene her friend followed
”Clay!, i understand how you feel, but… you
can’t live in the past, please..”
”no Irene, just let me be”, she wipe her tears
>>TWO years remembrance of Ciara death,
exactly two years now on the 20th of
Clay was dressed in black, her grandma and
Irene her friend was also standing behind
”Ciara, you will always be part of me, my
fashion designer, i sometimes feel guilty, i
shouldn’t have let you go out that evening
look, your sister will always be here for you,
long as i and grandma are alive you will
very much part of this world after you have
gone”, Clay said in tears as she drop a
right beside her was Irene their best friend.
”Ciara, Ciara… why…. why ..” Irene couldn’t
muttered anything again as she burst out in
and drop her own flower.
”my dear Ciara, grandma will always
you till my last dying breath”, their grandma
said in much tears. perhaps if only their
were here maybe this wouldn’t have
Because of this Clay don’t celebrate her
she only mourn, because it always remind
Ciara, she felt so sad each time she woke
without seeing Ciara by her side.
Clay would locked herself up in her room the
whole day she would take much time to
Ciara pictures and placed it. Her wall was
with Ciara pictures all over her room and at
same filled with so much hatred for all men
whenever she remembered how her sister
she hate all men!!!
NEXT EPISODE LOADING…..
do you think Clay will get over this and will
be able to love any man in her life ever
Drop your thoughts beneath.
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